Sep 13, 2004
i don't want to feel this way forever
well i havn.t updated in a while so i thought i should - hmm ill go back to friday cause i cant think of anything that happened b4 friday except school. ew i hate it there - friday woke up ..school - came home - fone with korbin for a while. that was fun.. im LD amber! thanks kiddo love you too hah cleaned my room .. started to get ready - manda came over! off to steven's house (: but first we picked up tom cause he was bored. when we got there steven stifler amanda + brian wiz + his g/f ronnie kevin hmm who eles? i dunno but by the end of the night there was alot of us. we had a pretty good time - well i guess i did haha i wanted brian stifler and tom so bad !! haha woops .. around 3 we went to speedway so dave could get a drink o wow i was covered in mud!! hah my pants are a all ripped up now from steppin on them.. then around 4 we all headed in steven's room and attempted to sleep - it was fun being with all my pals!! i <3 them kids hah us fittin like 1o people in his little room. hmm next morning we all woke up early brian took amanda home and then we went back to there house - i passed out on the couch after eating breakfast.. brother pick me up around 2? were gettin a new car yee!! so i cam home showerd cause i smelled so bad then to dustin and kyles for there grandpas cook out.. i had a real good time with brandon korbin caity dustin and kyle.. grr they like bruised me by tickling me!! then we got some yummy food - the guys walked me home around 11:45 - came home talk online went to bed around 1:30 got up at 2. showed - joe stopped over b4 work just to say hii.. i went to denny.s with the family then to wal*mart saw Katie Zalac . got some new make-up and a new portable cd player.. hmm tlaked to manda on the for a good hour and half - we said somethings that needed to be said.. so thats good!! i went to bed around 12:30 - school today it was a pretty good day i would say - gym class is so much fun with manda!! wow haha i might be going to the library soon cause i wanna get some books to read (: hah well im gunna go .. until the next update! <3 amber
Posted at 03:02 pm by oXambesXo
Permalink
Sep 7, 2004
i want to be happy for once..
so stressed lately - i don.t know anymore about guyys. i miss my jessi i wish i could just open up and tell her everything so she can fix them cause she always makes everything alright. but for some reason i couldn.t lately i can.t open up to anyone - i need to go away for a while my head is to full of stress and confusion.. saturday i went shopping for school clothes - no luck with that cause i can.t find anything i like anymore!sunday - fair = not good ..lost of thinking - joe was there and it so happens i was walkin around with him marco kris + manda when rosey got there so of course it was my fault that i had to stay with kristie casue she was my ride home. o well i dunno then we came back here - fighting w/ girrls .. not cooL! long talks with kristie until 6 am - thanks kris for listening to me conplain i needed to tell someone all my problems! rise and shine 9am on monday time for shopping we didn.t end up leaving until like 1 - a trip to the villiage.. then to the mall - saw nothing that caught my eye that i wanted. stop at journeys so we can talk to jim devine.. then we headed home! i was in such a bad mood cause i had soo much on my mind i feel terrible - i took it out all on amanda. got home - got things ready for "hell" stay online to about 1. talked to a few people on the fone. awoke at 6 got ready and it was off to school. it was an okay day - still all confused about stuff. came home and talked on the fone - now im gunna go for a walk. goodbye. <3
Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded
Posted at 03:57 pm by oXambesXo
Permalink
Sep 4, 2004
well let.s see - hmm ill start with thursday i woke up really early cause my aunt came over and stripped the rest of my hair and dyed it brown! the mail came.. i got my scedule
1º Foods 1
2º Biology
3º History
4º English tell me if you have any of those!
5º/7º French
6º Lunch
8º Gym
9º Math 1
so then amanda calls GUESS WHAT ? we have foods, gym, and lunch together!! o gosh that made my day - since we havn.t had a class together since 5th grade! anyways i headed to go get my hair cut - well i told the lady how i wanted it and it came out nothing like it and it was all uneven so my mom ask her to fix it and she got all pissed off so then i had to have another lady re-cut all my hair to fix it so now its so f.in short!! it made me real sad i guess it looks okay.. hmm then me + mommy got BK plus pick manda up! .. back to my house we went - i got ready and shizzz ..off to the fair we went! when we got there we talked to Dean for a little - called jessi we met up with all them wow i love each and every single one of those kiddos! we had a fun time.. then the whole thing with christine started - o wow! i wanted to kill her but damn cops oo well.. hmm met up with michelle for a little while then back with everyone. they started to leave so me and amanda made our way around the fair ourselves saw some hott guys! (: haha um yepp that was the fair. it was fun i think! i came home stayed up till 4.
Today cosisted of..
-manda waking me up super early
-back to sleep till 1
-villiage w/ brudder + bff
-BurgerKing
-Over to my aunts
-Fone calls w. Korbin
-Calling Joe about the fair
(grr cause korbin wouldnt call
for me) hah o well
-fair w. joe + korbin
-left me with joe
-fluffy bunny rabits!!
i want one soo bad.
-seeing a few friends
-rap music haha
-going home
now i sit here me and rosey were fighting but i think were alright now.. i just got off the fone with him and im about to go to bed soon cause tomorrow im going shopping with mommy for school clothes!i dunno tonite was just.. ehh i wouldn.t call it fun! but im going byee until next time ..
</3 aMbeS
Posted at 02:55 am by oXambesXo
Permalink
Sep 1, 2004
duddee .. sorry i havn.t updated lately the stupid thing wouln.t let me update o jeeze alot of things has happened since i last updated! well ill go back to thursday.. hmm i woke up around 7 babysat then started to get ready .. got dropped off at manda.s house then michelle came over - we were all PUMPED haha then around 6:30 her dad dropped us off at the dome - when i got there i went straight to jessi cause i havnt seen her in a couple weeks or have tlaked to her wow i missed her!! but her computer is fixed so thats good. i finally met kyle from myspace! talked to some other people then one forth awesome got on stage! wow the were amazing.. then i forget wat the 2nd +3rd bands were kickass - glasseater i didn.t really enjoy them much .. then HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS came on!wow dude they kicked ass the one guitar player got up all in my face haha it was funny! then started screaming in mands face. after they finished we talked to a few people then my brother was in a bad mood so we had to leave. i came home went to bed. friday i woke up at 7 to babysitt for the last time for the summer - it was fun those little kiddos look up to me so much its so cute! i talked to joe for a while me him and amanda were gunna go to the fitch game but that didnt work out - went over manda.s around i dunno when then we waited cause it looked like it was gunna rain which it did bad! we went to the skatezone to pick up her paycheck then got mickey d's .. korbin called and said there was a ton of people at the game so we went up there hung out with jessi sammi aKd sam r. ricky and erika the whole night then ended up goin to denny.s with them! dudde there was atleast 20 of us! hah it was such a good time - i <3 them kidds! then we left around 11:30 sam took me home i sat online.. went to bed! next day i slept all day cause i was real sick - gayy ass allergies! hah sunday i didn.t do anything either monday i woke up aroun 11 got ready and went to the mall around 4 with amanda. rosey joe and andy were there.. annie, britt, and ricky were there too i miss those girls soo much! we hung out in pac sun alot talking to sam r. talkin bout jojo? through the day i also saw korbin, ricky, and some other people? i forget - then my brother came got us at 8 we dropped katie off went to wal*mart i got hair dye and headbands! there super rad. manda bought like the whole store hah then we stopped at mc donald.s came home dyed my hair omg was that a wrong idea amanda started to dye it then my mom had to finish it - dude i have red hair!! eeew people like it but i sure don.t!!! hmm yea anyways we chilled then went to bed marco called at like 5am! hah i wanted to kill him but it was nice hearing from him since he never calls since he found someone new like one of my best friends! jeeze people these days.. o well i don.t care- do want you fucking want! so moving on to yesterday i asked my aunt what i should do with my hair and how i could get the color to change after all that she was sapose to come over and stripp the color from my hair and re-dye it a light brown but she was to bussy! grr so i sat home and did nothing - rosey & joe called! yee people me and rosey are alright i think that makes me so happppy (: then i went to bed around 3:30! today i woke up around 8 cause i had to watch my little cousin - i was soo freakin tired! not fun.. then my aunt got him at 3. i got $30 so thats not that bad.. now i sitt here and wait for my aunt to come over so she can do my hair! cross your fingers it works out!! but until next time .. Byee </3 amber
Posted at 05:07 pm by oXambesXo
Permalink
Aug 16, 2004
i didnt do anything thursday or friday.
saturday i woke up got ready manda picked me up at 4 and we headed to the mall. when we get there guess who we see JIM DEVINE! hah um well we ate some cheese fries. i was sad cause they weren't that yummy. o well i guess you'll have that - so we started to shop.. we saw corry, KRISTIE, MISSY, and some other people but i forget who. i had a pretty good time at the mall w/ bff - i didnt get any clothes but i got a belt, pretty earings, shoes, and shoelaces. We got our pictures takin haha they came out cute. (: hmm then we left around 9 dropped manda off. i came home talked on the fone w/ amanda and marco - thought about some stuff. went to bed around 4??
today i was woken by my wake up [marco] call at 8:30.lol thanks buddy.. i went back to sleep around 9:30 till 2 - ha very bad.. but i got up my brudder got me burger king. yum then i got ready and went over mandas. we chilled in her room soon after that Steven, Tommy, Kevin + Stifler came over. They left for wal*mart .. we stayed cause mommy pennell wouldnt let us go. We ordered a pizza yum. then the boys came back and we sat on the pourch and talked and shizz.. steven had to remind kevin bout tuesday so then they start going "mommy" and pretending like they were crying lol. they were gettin ready to leave and i acidently hurt tommy hah woops sorry kiddo hah you shouldn't of been tryin to hurt me. ha so they left and me + amanda talked and stuff.i came home around 11:30 got online .. rosey called i talked to him for a little well actually he was just sittin there singin and listening to music. i told him about how i fell on my ass in my bathroom haha. nice i know! now i sit online bored outta my mind got stuff on my mind - why cant i just find anyother guy just like you and but actually wants me. i know i could of had my chance but i fucked up like always also that this is all my fault and i deserve it but im sorry. i dunno i just hope he forgives me soon cause i don't know how much more of this i can take. i wanna be on a good note with him - i don't want to fight. anyways im going to bed. Byee <3 aMBeS - (:
Posted at 01:31 am by oXambesXo
Permalink
Aug 12, 2004
welp i know im slacking again i havnt updated since sunday o well but here we go..
monday- bad day.. me and rosey are nothing but friends i guess now. anyways um i didnt do anything that day except helped my mom clean.
tuesday-thursday. i went shopping with mommy for school clothes.. i got alot i was happy. i saw pat while i was there it was weird. then i came home and sat around cleaned my room so i could go to sammi's.. i left around 9 to go to aKd's house until jessi + sammi got off work. they came and picked us up - we went to erika's i dunno why ha but then we went to sammi's and some people were already there.. then um ricky came and they all got drunk i called amanda and talked to her for a while then Kyle + Rosey called. i talked to them both for like 2 secs. then went back to talking to amanda. hmm then after i got off the fone with her i talked to some people.. then i dunno what made me do it i just regret it cause i told myself i wasnt going to. but then i did.. then i was out of it for the rest of the nite. thanks tommy everyone for 'babysitting' me hah. and ITS NOT COOL TO TELL ME MY MOM'S ON THE FONE! so now im gunna have to listen to people yelling mommy mommy momm ahh she is gunna kick me out. lol but then rosey called and i messed up there by answering.. he is mad at me now cause i did what i said i wasnt going to. im really sorry if i knew this was a big deal to you i would of just for you and so that you wouldn't be mad at me and disapointed. but anyways going on.. well then brian is stupid and didnt call his mom at 12 so she was searching for him at 3 oclock in the morning and we were scared she was gunna drive past the house so everyone had to get outta the house as soon as we could.. me erika ricky baker and raelyn - erika was sober so it was all good but then we just drove until ricky's gas light went on so its like 3 oclock in the morning and we had to get gas at sheetz.. there was a state trooper i was so scared we were gunna get pulled over. then bakers mom called and was like im coming to get u at kevin's house ill be there in 10 mins. so we had to hurry up and get him there b4 his mom got there.. hah so we get there drop him off not to mention he didnt have any shoes or socks on.. and he had his shorts on not his jeans and reall f'ed up. nicee! so then we run i call brian to see where he was at so he was heading to kevins house and we ran into him and told him get home now. after all this we headed back to sammi's house i was becoming okay by now - so i helped clean up. eww wee man puked outside and it smelled sooo f'in bad. eww! then we all chilled inside it was just me jessi akd my brother travis sammi ricky erika and gino + bri were passed out. we played nintendo and talk.. brian came back over at like 5:30. we were gunna go out to denny's for breakfast but i left so i didnt go cause i had to babysitt at 7. me and my brother stop at mcdonalds for some food and headed home. the girls got here so i babysat plus fell asleep for a little bit like an hour. they left at 4.. i got ready then amanda got here and we went to gravity saw my britt + annie i miss those girls alot. <33 you girls. i got to see some hotties (: hah hmm then steven nick tommy kevin brian and all them got there of course when they saw me they kept yellin "mommy-mommy-mommy" haha my billy was there but i didnt really talk to him much =( i miss him. but i had a alright time i was just real tired since i only got an hour of sleep. but i was happy to see my friends.. so dustin took me and amanda home stoped at wendy's (: hah then amanda got online.. talked to rosey for a little to try and tell him i was sorry and shizz then i layed down and started to watch finding nemo but didnt get into much of it cause i fell asleep.. then i woke up around 2:30 - ehh so that ment i was gunna be up for awhile. amanda talked on the fone with marco.. i got online for a litte bit. then around 5 i tried to go to sleep cause i had to get up at 7 to babysitt. then i got up cause the girls got here. i fell asleep while they were here since i ddint get much sleep. then the girls left to go out to eat with my aunt so me and amanda chilled she talked to marco and crap. i sat there .. i got online for a little bit but no one was really on. then i ate dinner layd down watched tv and dozed off for a little bit.. woke up around 8? manda called. talked her for a bit she showerd i sat online she called back.. i made waffles and bacon. haha then she got off the fone to talk to marco so now i sit and talk to jessi + steven. i <3 them both soo much. well im gunna go to bed soon so until next time. (: <33 amber
Posted at 11:18 pm by oXambesXo
Permalink
Last Cigarette: I don't smoke
Last Alcoholic Drink: tuesday but im not going to anymore
Last Car Ride: yesterday
Last Kiss: what kind of kiss? just smooch- saturday and regular kiss last summer
Last Good Cry: i dunno?
Last Library Book checked out: don't remember
Last Movie Seen in Theaters: Mean Girls w/ the maaab 5 i miss you.
Last Movie Rented: Grind
Last Cuss Word Uttered: damnit
Last Beverage Drank: milk - korbin arent you proud? hah
Last Food Consumed: Waffles (:
Last Crush: Rosey
Last TV Show Watched: Rocko
Last Time Showered: yesterday i went anti-shower today hah
Last Shoes Worn: checkard vans
Last CD Played: Tbs.
Last Item Bought: ibprofen for me and annie.
Last Annoyance: don't wanna say
Last Disappointment:alot of things right now
Last Thing Written: Amber's Mix on a mix cd i just made
Last Key Used: i dunno?
Last Word Spoken:"Bye"
Last Sleep: a little bit ago
Last Sexual Fantasy: haha um.. today?
Last Time Amused: Manda telling me about her picture of me looking like a hippo
Last Time Wanting To Die: can't remeber
Last Time Hugged: Yesterday tommy mayb ?
Last Chair Sat In: The one I'm in right now.
Last Shirt Worn: Just a Plain Blue shirt that button downs half way but doesnt have button holes hah
Last Webpage Visited: alli w/ an i's site
Last time you had sex: haha um last night? when amanda did me in the butt. hah (:
Posted at 10:13 pm by oXambesXo
Permalink
Aug 9, 2004
ha well i havnt updated in a long time.. hmm so lets recap - i dont remember what i did on wends. do you ? hah then on thursday i didn't do anything except go to wal*mart and babysitt.. friday the parents left for alantic city so i had to go over amandas since they dont trust me. but befor i went to amandas steve took me to jessi's and we picked manda up and headed to the mall. hm it was a fun time i must say i love my best friends. they are the ones who keep me alive. (: me and manda went home cause jessi had to go to work. well we did nothing cause we couldnt get online and there was nothing to do so we slept then got up and chilled there. saturday i woke up and knew it was going to be a good day .. right manda? i was singin Ohhh Happy Day and real happy for some reason. so then we just chilled around the house brother picked me up around 4 i went home and started to get ready. around 6:50 jess came and got me - along with her was ricky sammi and aD. we were speeding cause we were runnin late it was halarious.. jessi was scarin me + ricky and aD are screamin as loud as they could! hah then we get there chatted with some people started to watch tcf - then walked down to the shaved ice stand.. i didnt get any and aD + ricky wanted to go back so we went back. i got to see my Britt + annie!! i was so excited.. i miss those girls soo much. plus i talked to tara that made me happy. Steven said hiI but didnt talk- THANKS FRIEND! hah j/k ember was alright didnt really listen to them much .. then alli w/ an i came on - wow they kicked asss!!! i bought me and amanda shirts a patch and pins.. since she couldnt go =( then we said bye to everyone and went to BK. YUM! (: we sat and chatted about drinking ur own pee in the desert and eating shitt! gross.. then jessi was making actions like she was givin ricky a hand job! haha i had a funnn time w/ them kiddos. after all the gaggles we headed back to austintown - stopped at Giant eagle for jessi to pee. hah ricky came in the girls bathroom with us just like he was one of us - then me + aD got a tour of the guys bathroom eick.they took me to mandas. i told her about the show and gave her the stuff i bought. she told me how rosey joe and fluffy stopped over earlier so i got reallly sad cause i didnt get to see rosey then she called joe and he asked if he could come back over. I got soo happy hah - so they get there and rosey was being so silly then we layed on the driveway (hah so comfy - Not!) (its soft like .. like pink grass not purple cause purples for phsycos! hah rigght guys? )and looked at the stars and cuddled!! (: i felt so happy being in his arms <3 ha oh wow then they were gettin ready to leave.. and guess what i got a kiss! i must of been the happiest person ask amanda i couldnt stop smilin hah i know i sound like the biggest dork but this kid got me falling for him and i dont mind. (: so me and manda talked to our boys on the fone then went to bed around 4. got up around 12 got ready and shizz then we couldnt get ahold of joe or rosey cause they were being meanies and not pickin up there fones! then we got this bright idea to call from a different number so they wouldnt know who it was. tee hee. (: so they picked us up and i dunno joe was just out of it if you wanna call it that? we went got gas headed to boardman stoped at dicks .. me and amanda went to sit on the hamiks (??) omg i flipped over on mine and hit my head on some boxes. i laughed for a good 5 mins ..we left and walked over to walmart .. looked around! he kept throwing balls at my head hah thanks (: after a while we walked outside and they left us. hah thankfully only for like a couple seconds.. but while they left driving me and amanda saw mr. kucklich (spelling?) our gym student teacher.. aww i miss that guy. haha so the boys came back and got us - we went to mc donalds then back to austintown .. then to bK? i dunno y .. then to fluffys house. then went to the school playground so i could swing cause i reallly wanted to. well a bunch of kids were there swingin so we had to stay on the playground part.. while they were leaving we ran to the swings.. they started calling us faggots!! ah i was scurred of them. hah we ran to the car and left. headed home .. then they droped us off at mandas. so her and i chilled in her room. talked about how her problems.. then i called my brother and told him to bring us taco bell and he said he would be there at 11 so in the mean time i called rosey and joe they were being weird.. i guess u could say. i dunno - then manda called michelle - man i miss her sooo much. o jeeze brother came i went home. when i got home i talked to mommy about her trip. i missed her! i got online talked on the fone with amanda and rosey. i think he is upset with me cause i said something in a joking way but he didnt take it jokingly!! im so scared to get hurt .. cause for once i actually like a guy foreal. even ask amanda or jessi how happy i have been. but i think im gunna go and get some rest. - omg theres a cricket in my livining room and i cant figure out where it is-im going insane from the noise!! help. hah but until next time.. <33 amber
Happy Birthday Ricky.. eventhough its a little late!!
Posted at 01:44 am by oXambesXo
Permalink
Aug 5, 2004
well i didnt update yesterday bc i only babysat and started school shopping. then came home talked online.
today i woke up around 7 to babysitt the girls were still tired so they went back to sleep so i got to too. i was soo tired since i only got about 3 hours of sleep good one i know.. then i ate dinner got ready - headed to amandas. i got there and gave my little chipmunk her push-ups. (: we went in her room looked at pictures and watched taking back sunday. then we started to watch you got served. haha that movie is halarious. i was sad about the little boy dying. hm.. then we got online for a bit then my brother wasnt comming so then he got online and was like i waited 15 mins. at her house but the dumbass didnt call or knock.. cause he was in his boxers so he wasnt gettin out. so i had travey bring me home. (: thanks sooo much. sorry if u got introuble. im so sick of alot of things expecially my family how i swear my dad doesnt care about me eventhough he says he loves me and shitt. bull crap - then he like never speaks to me. my mom is a total bitch anymore and complains i go out to much. im sick of not being able to be happy except when im with a selected few. i miss some old friends including michelle. i dunno im just gunna talk online. i should be in bed though bc i gotta babysitt again tomorrow. byee <33 Amber.
Posted at 12:31 am by oXambesXo
Permalink
Aug 2, 2004
Cut My Wrist and Black My Eyes.
So i didnt update yesterday cause i didn't do anything except sleep and then later on in the day i went to Wally World to get Miss Queen B a Birthday gift. then i came home and talked online.
i woke up today around 10:30 and got online for a bit then ate some yummy pancakes. then went back to bed around 12:30 .. woke up around 2:30. got online ate dinner then got ready. Jessi picked me up around 7? we were gunna go to the church by my house but the black people from the midget house were out! hah then we called ricky picked him up. he got his hair cut and highlights i like. hm we went to the park for about 5 mins. hah there were gangsters in the woods. then we went to sammi's my love amanda called. i feel so terrible for her. poor thing -- then we all were sittin on the trampoline and 'taco' started to circle us. it was scurry hah then me Jessi + Ricky left to go to Erikas. that was the funniest thing watch Ricky + Erika play mario. Ricky was going outta control. hmm then jessi get a bright idea to go to mickey d's and get some ice cream. i got a vanilla milkshake yumm! then we saw people skateboarding at gravity so we went there and we didnt get out we just sat in jessi's car then i screamed out the window baker hah so they all came over. and we chatted for a bit. jessi and ricky faught. nice! we went to rickys house sat there. went back to jessi's she was being soo dorkY! just kidding i love ya - my brother picked me up .. droped me off at dustin + kyles. korbin was there so i got to see the pictures he gave me all the ones of ADAM! yum but now i have to share with bff! o wells. now i sit and talk to people. why do i get caught up in boyys ? i just dont know i get so happy cause im like wow mayb this is gunna work out for once but nope. i just get let down!! i dunno im just gunna try and not worry about it. im going to bed! <33 amber
Posted at 11:21 pm by oXambesXo
Permalink
